I’ve Had Only Cruel Lovers

I hurt once and for all
Into silence, I retreat into
Ivory Towers, inner strength
To find sustenance, against abandonment

I have no more praise left –
For the friends who have left
Let me cry Help beside you
Mostly by seeking to aid you

I hurt once and for all
After heartbreak, I feel the great distance
Between me and all of society
I hurt once and for all

The wed red tongued alienation
Of bitter defeats, judged not desirable
I have no honor, as a son even
I hurt once and for all

After dysfunctional family ties
Linger like morbid displays of duty
I hurt once and for all
As an angry teacher of human cruelty

I have no more patience left
For rejection, for honesty
I hurt once and for all, by default
The smell that burning cities give
Of hearts left alone in their toil.

The Business of Light

The moon’s orb waxes and wanes/
On me for days, like a holiday without limits
Prize emotions, going into battle
Mortality, salty and sweet –
–
Sickness melts into health
Abandonment into revelation
My longing for the music of the soul
Cannot be kept down for long, the

Tambourine-sun of my heart/
Is Venus personified, shinning like
Heart break spread upon rosebuds
Of the playing in concert of final compassion
–
I obliterate pain, with eye medicine
My vision exceeds night-fantasy
The ground underfoot becomes
A living hue of the plumb and culprit grace

All-around, that we are sometimes blind to/
I have been lifted by Jupiter, to the highest throne
The dawn where love is more, than merely
A person, or a personal salvation
–
I am the criss-cross of splendour, a student
Of wishes that turn to subtle praise
For the exceeding wisdom in existence
Listen, for the light of my owlish grin.

29.4.2013

Modern Gender

You live like a God/
Calm, alone, the modern associate
You tailored your life
Script and sacrifice, determined
Like a titan, in a life made of nets
–
To catch the monuments falling
The lovers, departing
You herd destiny with no promises
You believe in yourself, at least
You honor your victories

And count yourself lucky/
You live like a God
Aloof, eccentric, intrinsic
Lord prayer didn’t need help
To raise pennies from the marketplace
–
You wrap your silence in
Executable strengths of machinery
You live like a God
Aren’t you tired, of vigilance
Against perceived enemies, for which
There exists a rather large mythology.

Migrating Silence

A part of me seeks inner government
To break into a lonely country
Broke from love, not impoverished
But neutral, sexless, just fraternal
To pick Lords of Memory of friendship
Instead of love, blot out telling rain and candles
Settle for sunshine, twenty-four-seven!
To languish in conversations
That never end, like how a line
Of in a Chinese Poem can change my mind
Like a sweetly drunk monk, choose
The simple life, a part of me seeks the
Exile’s perfect letter, language of silence
Where equanimity bathes the mist
Along all shores, triumphant &
Forgetting the Self perfectly.

The Toast of First Conversations

You are inside every kindness/
And I am haunted with the giving
I cannot write about the source
Of my dreams, these are ways of loving
The thrill of identity’s finest evidence!

Every natural pleasure/
The vicinity of joy
The unity that occurs
When someone loves something
It is the passion of dedication

And I am haunted by it/
I live to encompass it
Like pure compassion
The table of my life’s delight
Has been set, and I am waiting for

Participants, friends, lovers/
The silence of self-annihilation
A mystical otherness of inner finding
You are inside every kindness
A symbol of my devotion

The living shiver or roselight/
The new idea on the sky of the brain
The conversation that changes everything.

God in a Secular World

Nothing impels action like
The love of God, which has –
So many forms, teeming sub-shoots
Like subcategories of Evolution
Sects of harvesting Will
Offshoots of motives of the Beloved

God will not give anything in return
But we will act, in brief necessity
Dying to the art of our years
With the bare hearts of our fleeting youth
I think the hope of loving

Keeps us going, even when
We are unable to adapt, unable to act
I have been like this for a while now
The love of God, it’s not lost on me

I’ve translated mysticism even when
I’ve wept for the light that didn’t reach my heart
It is said God is always ready for us
But we seek him without, not within.

Your Surroundings Don’t Matter

God is with me everywhere
So then why do I seek seclusion?
I would be safer among the people
If my heart is broken, I shall still
Know Divinity, if the people
Disrespect me, who am I to fault?
God is in everything, in market-demon
And false Politician, in ruthless Corporations
God is with me in everything I see
She is not distracted by a multitude of things
Like attachments, preferences, routines
I seek her out in human beings
Hoping she will show me glimmers of truth
Leave me messages of delight, carelessly
In short split-second smiles and in
The wisdom of strangers, that is why
I love God in the people, miracles in vulnerability.

The Grace of the Cosmos

I would love the Universe
Not to profit by her, or steal her grace
But for what she is –
I would smile at the starts
Not for seeking or inner comfort

But because I exist because of them
I would try to know the Universe
Not for control by her powers
Or how I can exploit her myriad truths!
But because her wonders are the orders

Of my own divine formula
My heritage, the science of my ancestry
The future of my dearest kin
I would serve Life in the Galaxy
Not for my species to gain over others

But for all life to have its moment to bloom
I am from a dying, warlike species
But I would love the Universe
As my last power of choice, on a world
That I unheedingly aided to destroy.

I Would Follow Thee

28.4.2012

Take me with you, this morning
I’m will to be a beginner again
To learn from you, to subtly
Be the moisture of the dew
On your feet, tread me with

I want to hear your voice
And your wispy thoughts
Caress the day, like golden-white light
Allow me to, look from your gaze
I want to know the pure heart

The dancing lotus of time, the spark
Beyond instruments, the childlike wonder
Take me with you, this morning
Teach me your inner solitude
That I might penetrate God in everyone

Take me with you, make me into a bird
Who circles high to regard your head
As my master, lover, the friend
Of my every beating wing, every breath
Take me with you, this morning
Into your living spirituality of health.

God Flowers Inside Creatures

I am sure, as I live
That there is nothing
So near to me as God
Nothing so intimate to me
As Nature, I am sure

That Love is not a personal force
Not a sexual attraction
A family bond, a friendly trust
But an impulse for all
Of existence, all of the Universe

I must become God then –
And serve all the Love in me
I am sure, as I live
That there is nothing
So near to me as Bliss

Nothing so intimate to me
As serving Life, I am sure
That I can serve strangers, aliens
Criminals, a corrupt world
Since Love is not a personal force

Who am I to judge, that all creatures
Are not deserving of support?
To give, is my religion
To love, is my dogma
To help, is my ritual

That is all I need to know
That is enough to for me
I am sure, as I live
That God is within me
But I alone, do not exist.

You Breathe Mysticism on Me

Let nothing upset you
I who have been upset an entire lifetime
I have the right to say it
Hold on to the infinite
The child in you, the Goddess

Hold it tightly, as I would hold you
Like a lover, brother, father, friend
Let nothing startle you
I’ve seen you in your fierce celebrations
I’ve known you, cherished you, fought for you

All things pass, said the ancients
Say the lovers, poets, prophets, psychics
All things come again, remember your greatness
God does not change, quantum physics
Universal truth, I understand now

Why you believe so much in the human soul
I love what you do fiercely, with sacred undertones
Patience wins, delight thrives yet again
Whoever has God, lacks nothing, fears nothing
Your cosmic womb shines like lightning

Mirrors like jewels of sand, on a transparent beach
I burn for you, but God alone is enough.

The Last Bhajan

My Beloved dwells in my heart
She is touching me right now
As we speak, I can feel her
Eyelashes on my soul, blinking
Me into a lifelong state of bliss

My Beloved tells me I’m needed
Just the way I am, that I exist
For a purpose, I want to offer her my gifts
All that I am ever am or could be
My Beloved knows my Will

To serve her into Eternity
I have actually seen her Abode of Joy
She offers it to me with her flaming pen
My Beloved dances with me
Between the curtains of morning

From some place far away and distant
She finds me from within
I have no human body, to say
This was real, but I feel her nearly
In every second, she creates

Moments and vibrations in me
My Beloved sets me free
She is touching me right now
It makes tears pour down my cheeks
Her baby eyes watch me with
A terrible power of innocence.

Fully Awake and Dangerous

Wake me up from the depths/
Of slumber, bright-eyed from
A dangerous Dream, it wasn’t real?

I want to be fully awake baby/
To ascend with holy certainty
And chase after timeless optimism

In waking, eating, working, dreaming/
Wake me up from my depths
Of slumber, let me escape

The necessity of being limited/
A dangerous Dream, was it real?
I want to be fully awake dear

Tread my memories roughly/
I have been poor, so poor
Without knowing you, I have

Become rich, so rich, with but/
A drop of you, wake me up
Gently, sweetly, shake me
I don’t know how much longer
I can take it, stand it, kick it.

I’ve Grown Thin with Silver Love

I share a sacred decree
With all who have ever
Suffered the tremendous burdens
Of human mortality, we know

The same pains, the thirst
The horrible sensation of separation
I’ve bathed in it, studied it
I’ve rushed towards the Beloved One

With a torrent of flesh, blood, bones
Every organ in me has invested
In creating Divinity, in growing
More complete, more receptive

Compassion breathes into my ears
Until I listen, truly identify with
The stories from the four corners of the Earth
I want to know the world’s pain

I want my pride to be melted
My self-interest to be turned to good
I share a sacred decree
With all who know abandonment, death

Hardship, incapacity, doubts
Of human mortality, we know
The same ambiguities, inequalities
The horrible injustice of power

I’ve lived poor, I’ve known disease
Now I rush towards the Beloved One
On knees of prayer, with weapons of love.

Whispers of the Poet Seers

Where there is Injury/
Divinity has pardoned me
With the mercy of the worlds
Where there is Suffering
I have been healed by

The greatest solace ever felt!
Where there was Doubt
I have wept with the Faith
Of the most luminous Numinousity
I have swallowed Oneness

Till I hurt with the Supreme connection/
Between us all, like a Universal sympathy
The galaxy was the Brain of God
And we were Neurons smiling
Where there is Sadness

I have been given a chaotic Joy/
That triumphs over all obstacles
Where there is Hatred, the Love
Of youth and innocence changed it all
O Divine Master, I am nothing without you

Take me to be your minister, your servant/
That I would learn to love others
For what they truly are.

Wuji’s Anthem

I have so much love
The mystic kind of surreal wishing
For others to evolve
For their soul to burst forth

Before me, dips Eternity
Like the returning Moon
You stamp me with your kindness
I am, forever grateful

I am Wuji, spirit of Immortality
I bless you with the Eternal’s wedding
In your little heart
I bank the Gods, I converse with angels

I have so much love to give
You and I are the Term between
Self and unity, self and other
But what is the self, but a kindness to others?

Dissolve the separation between us
That is what I was born to do
You stamp me with this knowledge
I am, forever in your debt
I am Wuji, golden Nightingale

I am Wuji, boundless song
I have so much to say to you
Invisible is the spirit between us
Yet all-pervasive with a sweet Bliss.

I’ve Watched Myself Perform Small Nobilities

When I look around for proof
That I am alive, epistemology aside
I am a living metaphysics scattered

In the wind, dreams bought by books
There is no defragmenting this love
It’s the self-search of sheltered legacies
*
And I become a candidate
For door to door sustenance
Looking for proof that I exist

In these empty faces, these cynics with luggage
Perhaps I should be practicing not having
Because possession, isn’t in the cards

I’m no longer waiting, I’m simply
Pressing my ears and eyes into everything
Hoping that I don’t abandon hope too easily
*
I won’t rush death a bunch of dust
But leave what I am, stuck with you.

An Urban Afterlife

Aspiring to empty myself of information
The city carves me up with an orbit of
Advertisements, carcinogens, plastics

I am afflicted – rehearsing my escape
Where on the Earth can I leave it?
Modern life injures my spirit

Like a repetitive cognitive stress fracture
Of too much schizophrenia & separation
This world has chosen a kind of doom
*
Without volunteers, for needless kindness
I want a simple life, like fruit ripening
Before you eat it on a Sunday morning

Aspiring to coax myself back into balance
The city trespasses over my congruity
With an excess of competition

For wealth and breeding, for a restless
Workaholic’s lifetime of drudgery, slavery
I am stripped of my humanity a bit more
*
Year by year, till I reach my thirties
With hardly dream or innocence –
We believe the lies they tell us, until
We begin to tell ourselves the same lies.

A Mermaid and a Muse

How can I live here with no real Horizon/
Only the open sea, of my soul
Filling me with lighthouse contemplation
I am a simple man, with gifts enclosed
.
These years elapse with words
That sift for someone like you
Mermaid and a Muse –
Give me your hand, I’ll seal it
.
.
Upon the open sea, where spirits
Reach the mountaintops, and take
Rivers back with the melting snow
Down gazing to the docks
.
Where Sirens cry for harboured lights
To be an ordinary woman
With hearth and common labours
Until, your wild spirit unbroken
.
.
Should return, from thence you came
How can I live here without you,
It’s too late to give my hand & heart
To those who would remain a mystery
.
I need someone intimate, convenient/
To put me in my proper place
One of my own kind, who might that be?

I Dreamed Living Moments of You

I really did love you in a sense
Afars, fellow citizens, passerbyers
Would be friends, fellow students
Bustling colleagues, strangers on the street
.
Old people trying to walk
Children laughing with their parents
Young woman in the metro
Looking at her reflection –
/
I looked at you all, with unfeigned interest
Studied your stages, passages, patterns
Myself a poet among so many who
Truly lived, by being, exempt from watching
.
I really did love you all in a way
Non-intimates, in your pleasant varieties
Though I could not melt your woe
With any common and good relief, I was there
.
Dreaming next to your solemn and candid moments
The two of us are dead now, it happened all so quickly
What I learned, was in fact, to survive you
That only love mattered, that universal sympathy.

Graffiti Before Apocalypse

It’s a final exam to believe
In cosmic consciousness, it’s difficult
To believe that a new world is waiting/

When the budget tells you
Quantum physics doesn’t matter
Ghost in the machine, the crocked/

World keeps getting faster
The overall emptiness of matter
Better exploited, transistors more atomic/

The world keeps getting smaller
But then why do you still feel so damn far!
It’s a universe language, to want/

To be loved, to care about the state of things
But it’s a diffusion of responsibility
When the old boys club keeps/

Giving you the chills, at how
Patriarchy and military spending
Still rule the world, it’s hard to trust/

Humanity, when you realize
It’s still the bankers who own you.

When Geography Meets Biography

My sky, lights up with questions/
When I am with you
Like an applause meter of naturalness
Acceptance, is a beautiful thing

With references, of quiet friendship/
I don’t need clever turns of phrase
But simplicity, that spells out the
Beautiful names, like laughter unbidden

I’d cherish that, like lightning/
Out on the evening veranda
Or raindrops heavy with moisture
That long for the ground, the quiet Earth

So strong and stable, so in need/
Of a little water, that’s how I am with you –
A running light, of golden miles
As far as the eyes can see, it’s comforting

To know, that I can find contentment/
Light-jeweled in the parks
Turning in only conversation, forth & replied
Like a deeper comfort into the night.

26.4.2013

These Heroics of May

The sun is alive in my belly/
My navel of blowing May
The soft gold of my birth-month
I’ve waited for this

Over fields where I turned/
Your bronze name in my head
Over and over, like buds and springs
Of all the loves I have ever witnessed

The high stars maintain/
The dripping hope of last-songs
Today’s melody, well it’s for Spring
I am fixed in her like a Galaxy

The secret of her fragile skies is this –
That I’ve had a shinning head
For outrageous dreams
As the smallest movements in my mouth

May is for heroic kissing/
For lovers who burn with lucid plundering
To build new lives
Where we have once been cheated
To replace that with fertility.

Perfection of Neuromarketed Solitude

It’s so simple/
To wake up a lonely man enough
Until it becomes the only possibility
I’ll work hard all day

A new leader of destiny/
With the concise grief
Of weeping men, I’ll take it
Sow a dynasty, cheat fate

In the freedom of my pilgrimage/
Hardened, I’ll build a lonely country
Where I am both, President and Serf
I’ll break from love &

I’ll scorn fraternity/
Float my soul in my own cherry wine
It’s so simple
That’s what this world is coming to

I’ll polish my own tongue/
With kisses for melodious memories
That’s I’ll invent
Like a virtual network

Of my own imagination/
There will be brown petals of fire
Around my acts, circling my poems
My cattle will be the milk of muses

Like layers of autumn leaves/
Of all the beauty I shall witness
Something forgets in me, to count on others
It’s so simple

To wake up a lonely man/
And accept it all, perfectly.

Ballad of Last Light

The sun is tangled
In my prayers for sunset
It doesn’t matter than
I’m at the goldenth hour of my life
I’ve been changed to a bird

So many times, it’s difficult
To count, was I a Phoenix?
Or was I a Dragon?
I fell in Love with Asian
A long time ago, lifetimes ago

Terrified by the clash
Of wind and grass
I became an ethereal thing
I commit daily suicide
As a human being

And walk as a spiritual creature
In literature, the sun is tangled
In my silver hair
Between sky and water
I’ll leave my songs

Pet the Serpent of knowledge
In darkness, I’ll set myself a home
Pulling a flower out of moss
I’m a hung man’s last shivering
The sun is tangled at my feet
In my invocation for dawn.

(For We Know Silence Already)

You tell me that silence
Is closer to God, than poetry
Who am I to disagree –
The best words have always been inner
Like empathy, breathless & unsaid
.
You tell me that silence
Is nearer to your heart than your writing
Though you write from a truer
Place than I do, I can feel
The peace in your few aching words
But I can bring your silence
.
It’s built in my calm, my meditation
Before I had a voice, a body, a life
I was a gift of silence, unborn –
You hand my poems back to me
With a slow smile and I retreat
.
Back into the silence of our
Shared understanding, it’s sweeter
There, than before – when all
I was, were poems strewn across the floor.

Language at the End of the World

To lighten up language, I’ve/
Dug deeper, soared higher
A grassroots entry into oblivion

The little landscapes collected/
Of a billion lives, varieties, in-commons
To become a single blade of grass

Or a single bead of flowing water/
That’s the first conundrum
To identify with everything

Purely, without pretence/
I do not barter light and dark
They simple are, like the macrocosm

Of my internal states, I mirror them well/
With is neither grief nor joy
But only peace, nature, what is –

Time will tell if I listened or loved/
This world well, with my lack of vitality
To lighten up language, I’ve

Blown in your direction, across/
Buried cities, with little saliva
In my mouth for the end-of-times

I’ve dreamed apocalypse would be/
Not so different, as the sweet oblivion
Of a dying world, that thrives if only
For it’s artificial growth.

The Wrong Ends of the Rainbow

At the brink of extinction/
The author forgets themselves
The scar tissue from which we write
Breathes the wounds of the world
It’s not unusual how at the heart

Of every poem, is a journey/
At the tips of discovery
The world changes by how
It is perceived by us, let’s make it
An art, to see the world with new eyes

Darlings, I’ve read your poems/
Like the same old world we look through
With the endless interest of living
We find use in discussing the same things
At the ends of turmoil, ruin, transformation

The author is the story, there is nothing else/
Worth relating, I write out of my charms
And spells and happy western skydrops
Countries of narratives, I couldn’t even begin

To truly describe, how the light cools/
At the idea of last incidents, forever loves.

The Light of Mornings-After

I find joy hidden in indiscreet places/
Faces crossed in ascension, pure
The unwrapped courtesy of an elderly couple
Holding hands, after exhausted labours
Possessing, more tenderness than I do!

I find joy in the cemetery trees/
That bloom, as if the flowers
Strewn beside the graves, gives them compost
Warm and lush, energy insatiable
All things have a heart, invisible but alive

Like all that Love that isn’t dead/
It was transformed into other things
Suppressing one secret, for another form
Let the labors go on, lives and flowers too –
I can admire then, the architecture

Of my own doom, the way things grow/
From passion to indifference, the way trees
Wave goodbye to different eras of our becoming
I find joy in the profound trance of in-betweens
Like the slight breeze on the lake
Where as a child I used to gaze.

Like the Quiet Pinch of Ovaries

At the cutting edge of the recurring now/
It must have been a trick of time
That brought us together, stop-motion universe

Laughter in reverse, some lapse /
Of concentration and epiphany of choice
A direction so mutually unassuming

It seemed natural, like retreating /
From a downpour, or taking a break
When we truly didn’t require one –

Something must have told me, nudged me/
As if a long afternoon, with broken continuity
The future is a lapse, where our heart

Falls, the flower petal we step over/
Without noticing, the riot of the unseen
Hands of change, ahhh! That’s enough

To make one happy, The birds feel it/
The seagulls abandon everything for it –
I’ve felt it a few times, maybe less than some

The human torch of the flame moving on/
The floor of a melted life, turning forty
Honey, news and loneliness

Where did my life go – with what force of memory/
To which latitude and why, these are things
That require constant negotiation, careful

Acceptance, at the end of days/
I stacked in a corner all the things I could let go.