A Spartan Lament

What moved me, was not
That we were meant to be together
It was they way you offered
Your hand to be in my hand
Your palm against my palm
The way you insisted
My manhood might go headfirst
Inside of you without a sheath
Warm, like a bird caught in a snare
I shared myself with your sharing ways
You were grieving, using me
As a heart hoarse with hope
And I loved you, loved you deeply
What moved me, was not
That you rejected me, after all
I’m not perfect, it was the way
I kept loving you, and nobody else
Muscular in tenderness, from all
The abuse you once endured
I became a carpenter, carving a house
That I could never give to you.

Like Water Forever Restless

And still we dream, comrades
And still we let the sun
Caresses us before the night
Enters us like hushed immobile years
Oh I know the sun’s breast

I’ve felt my manhood pulse
With the yearning of mountains
Gold washed is the fountain
Where I held you, the best
Of my everything, the height

Of my wealth, in poverty
Having you, was my last resort
Of a life without a companion
And still we dream, comrades
Of better times, while the sun

Keeps heaven’s azure rays close
Brisk is the air in the white-capped
Future, in the distance
Where love and the ocean pounded
To break on my heart’s shore.

Fantasies in May

I have been lost
So lost I forgot everything
This is the city of tulips
Where I lost you, I lost everything
Flaunted are the years since
Swaying in suicidal gratitude

For having, and not having
For flowers that are not tulips
And hunting for belonging
That never came, that never comes
I have been lost
Trying never to dance
Not knowing how to smile

The will of the tulips
Laughs inside of me
Red, like the poison of sputtering
Out of control, I lost you
And now each moment
Kills me with drunken harlots.