Being an Invisible Virgin


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Xiao Wei, in the hours of our brief obstacles

Can you remember the smell of roses?

I have too many fragments of beauty

In my soul, I’m light as a feather


Without attachment, I dream of you today

I crave the brilliance of an embattled lifetime

The suffering of sleeping alone

And finding pause and dear companions


In the shallow night of superficial years

Xiao Wei, you have no idea ~

How much and love for the sun, you have brought me

I must lead an empty life to say it is so


But coming from heaven, I beg the universe

At times for little gestures, tiny signs

That I too have a place in existence

Xiao Wei, the giver of plenitude


I am a vessel as if filled by your water

Your tears, your sweat, your mind’s blood is my own

I inherit you by nearness to you

I mirror your kindness by being familiar to you


I love what you love by proximity

I ache what you ache for by shared identity

I am nothing and nobody without that

Xiao Wei, there are no friends that last forever


At least not for me, so as I am assaulted by

A glimpse into forever, I pause at the spring

At the fountain of you, at the purity

At the gestures of my lost youth


Xiao Wei, it does not matter who I loved or what I did

But did I rejoice in what was given?

Was I grateful for my innocence virginity

For the gifts of my character, that to others


Were a vice, my gifts of royalty that to others

Went invisible, farewell my friend

These times pass and go, but I linger in the middle

In the love of your imagined nearness

Like a broken hearted ghost.




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