About Solitude and Infatuation

Screen Shot 04-05-15 at 08.20 PMScreen Shot 04-05-15 at 08.26 PMBeing Alone Does Not Make You Crazy, It Reminds You Of Who You Are. - E.J. Koh

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Being alone with Eun Ji

I’m five down dead in red

I bend where the sun hits

I shift to gain access

To the bursting shadows

Voyeuristic to your ghosts

The rains is like a lullaby

But the blood of a writer

Eun Ji, I’m a secret manifestation


Of your psyche, both silent

And wounded in existence

Both everything and nothing

For your eternity of being

And there is a vague red trail

Leading from my life to yours

It’s like an avalanche of nostalgia

When you shudder I feel light-headed

In this way, I have swallowed

The memories of someone else

And I would gladly color your body

But after all those dreams of dying

We learned to love dying

In each other’s arms, disguised

Like lonely vehicles to murder the world

Our solitude didn’t make us crazy

It just reminded us who we were

And for that I am lonely:

Loneliness is not being alone

It’s to love another’s soul

To no avail, but I have time

Time to tangle myself into

The spiral veins of your inner voice

Maybe the only voice

That can reach me now

And I write about you because

I’m scared of writing, however

I’m more scared of not writing

Eun ji, in my mind you have become a poem

But I cannot stop writing or speaking

Because you amplify the my inner Asian-ness

And the zero-point of all poetic intent in me.

Notes to Angela

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Notes to Angela

I wanted to read Red, the color
Of you, to know the labor
That spelled your destiny

The red was something
None of them could contain
It was the heart of you

And I could not steal it
I could barely grasp at it
The symbols, the bizarre
Frames of reference

Glittering in the dark like candy
Post-modern candy of the why
The where and the who all

Tied up in bouquets of koans
E.J Koh, I don’t get you, like
At all, Love, do you still remember
The inner peace, remember how

You ached to be your own witness
Loving the moment in what you do?
With only reasons that
Could be right for you

Knowing that it all came
From impermance and would return
To the source, was it Red,
Or easy to read, or approachable

What being a colony fellow
Does to you, I do not know.

Author’s Note: